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Thematic Index of the Collected Works of the Mother
© Sri Aurobindo Ashram Trust

relationships

2.5.1.a -- attitude towards others (12)
08, p. 348-50 This is a discussion about why people value the approval of others. There are three reasons (utilitarian as when one’s job depends on the boss’s good opinion, vanity as when one is still weak enough to need compliments and appreciation from others, and thirdly, progress as when one wants the approval of a guru or enlightened teacher). Mother tells the correct and most helpful attitude to take i.e. before reaching the stage when one cares not at all what others think of oneself, it is advisable to take others as a mirror in which you see your own reflection.
08, p. 407-08 Mother talks about the idea of treating everyone in the same way. To do so contradicts the very principle of diversity. One ought aspire to have the same deep attitude of understanding, unity, love, perfect compassion for all that is in the universe; but this very attitude will be applied to each case in a different way according to its truth and necessity. To be able to do that one must develop a higher and deeper consciousness.
09, p. 133-35 Here Mother talks about the subject of judging others. Unless one has the constant vision of the Divine in all things one has neither the right nor the capacity to judge the state others are in. Judgement is one of the first things which must be swept away before one can take a step on the supramental path.
10, p. 120 An aphorism which Mother says is particularly good for people who think themselves very superior: “Examine thyself without pity, then thou wilt be more charitable and pitiful to others.”
10, p. 281 Here are four aphorisms about oppressors and enemies and the correct attitude to take towards them. Mother comments briefly.
11, p. 129 A couple of excellent paragraphs are here about the futility of blaming or judging others. “…it is impossible to reproach a human being who does as well as he can according to his consciousness, for how can he go beyond his consciousness?”
12, p. 157 If others are unkind to you Mother says to tell yourself: “Why be sorry and feel miserable? If they are right in what they say, I have only to be glad for the lesson and correct myself; if they are wrong, why should I worry about it—it is for them to be sorry for their mistake. In both cases the best and the most dignified thing I can do is remain strong, quiet and unmoved.” (also under: 6.3.b)
13, p. 174-75, 183 Here Mother gives a few guidelines about the correct attitude to take to paid workers and servants.
13, p. 188-89 A few guidelines here about how, when in the field of work, to report on the doings of others to one’s “boss”. One should not judge but be like a mirror and reflect a correct image when giving the information.
14, p. 289-315 These pages have passages about judging others, the best way of helping others, the attitude to take towards the words or actions of others, attachment to others, duty to others, friendship, the slavery of men and women to each other and how to get free from it, and some passages about marriage and children. (also under: 5.5)
16, p. 076 A sadhak said she hates someone who has not stopped a bad habit. Mother answers, “It is said that hate is the reverse of love; at any rate it is a dangerous sentiment which leaves you always at the mercy of the one you hate: to hate means you are still attached; the true attitude is one of complete indifference.”
16, p. 347 “The things that shock you most in others are those that you are struggling against in yourself or trying to suppress in yourself. Knowing this teaches you to be patient.”
2.5.1.b -- getting influenced by others (7)
03, p. 089-90 Attraction or repulsion of human beings. “Easily we feel attracted towards people who bring a reinforcement to our nervous envelope; we are repelled by those who disturb or hurt it.”
04, p. 034-35 Often in front of someone we say something different from what we wanted to say. “Are you able to say to what extent the atmosphere of the other person has influenced you and stopped you from saying what you had prepared?”... “To be in a state of attentive observation, you must have, so to say, antennae everywhere which are in constant contact with your true consciousness.”
07, p. 245-46 How can we escape from other people’s influence? You must first aspire with all your ardour to receive only the divine influence and continually use your will to place all other influences under the influence of the divine will. You can succeed (after years of practice) and can become a free being. For when you are completely surrendered to the Divine you become perfectly free. Mother describes in some detail what the practice is—a combination of will, persistence, self-observation, rejection of vital impulses with a great deal of ardour in the will, with faith that the victory is certain. (also under: 4.3.3)
09, p. 179-81 Why does one feel attracted at first sight to some people and feel a repulsion for others? Attractions and repulsions are based on vital affinities, nothing else. It is a kind of chemistry. Some vital vibrationss harmonise and some don’t. It is simply that. And some vital vibrations harmonise to such an extent that ninety-nine times out of a hundred these sympathies are taken for what men call love, and suddenly people feel “Oh! He is the one I was waiting for’’, “Oh! She is the one I was seeking!’’ and they rush towards each other until they find out that it was something very superficial and that these things can’t last.
16, p. 032 Mother talks about the influence of atmospheres—your way of thinking, feeling and acting creates vibrations and an atmosphere that affects how others respond to you.
16, p. 191 You will admit that one can’t live with others without being influenced more or less by them. Mother’s answer: “No, this is wrong! It is true of the ordinary life but not of a yogi.” And: If my company is not good for others, should I not dissociate myself from everyone? Answer: “It would be much better to dissociate yourself from the tendency to fall into your ordinary consciousness.”
17, p. 026-27, 28-29 Brief examples and comments on influencing others, imposing one’s will on others. (also under: 5.5)
2.5.1.c -- helping others (7)
06, p. 450-51 Sri Aurobindo says that if you want to prepare for the descent of the supermind, first of all your mind of ignorance must be replaced by a mind of light which sees and knows. This is the first step. This statement comes at the end of a discussion of the problem of wanting to help others for one can soon discover if one steps back a little that one has no true knowledge or certitude of what the person needs or about what one should do. (also under: 2.2, 3.2.4.a, 5.5)
08, p. 254-55 Mother tells how it is possible to help others by means of thought formations to which one adds the strength and persistence of emotion and will. She tells how the formation is a living entity which will try to realize itself. This method is within the scope of all who know how to think and even more of those who know how to love—but the power is limited. There is much more chance of success if one has faith in divine Grace and offers one’s mental formation to the Grace with trust then one has indeed a chance of success. (also under: 5.5)
09, p. 415-17 Mother explains how one can’t do much for others, either for life in general or for particular individuals until one lives in a spiritual consciousness. After the required reversal of consciousness (She describes it on pp. 414-15). Then: “If one sincerely wants to help others and the world, the best thing one can do is to be oneself what one wants others to be—not only as an example, but because one becomes a centre of radiating power which, by the very fact that it exists, compels the rest of the world to transform itself.” (also under: 5.5)
14, p. 331-36 Short passages about the need for collaboration and harmony with others in work and guidance about the most helpful attitudes to take.
15, p. 358 Mother tells how those who discover the truth of their being and conquer all that opposes it make it easier for others to make the same conquest. “These are the pioneers or elite who…help others towards their victory.” (also under: 5.5)
16, p. 192-94 Brief statements about the risk of trying to share one’s peace and joy with others, the conditions for being able to do it successfully and some short comments of advice and information.
17, p. 079 On liking to help others: “It is the sign of a very good nature, but to be able to do it safely one needs to have complete control over oneself.” (also under: 5.5)
2.5.1.d -- dynamics within relationships (10)
05, p. 002 About how people meet. Groups or families of beings who work for the same cause decide to come to earth at the same time. But people meet and recognise each other only to the extent they become conscious of their psychic being. Otherwise one is tossed about by the forces of Nature. The only solution is to find your psychic being, and let it guide step by step whatever the obstacle.
06, p. 372-73 Being agitated or angry or violent with others is a great sign of weakness which can be overcome by the mind forming the habit of being quiet and watching things with the inward smile of the witness who is not disturbed by outer things said or done. (also under: 4.3.2.d)
10, p. 021-23 Commenting on an aphorism of Sri Aurobindo Mother says that whatever shocks us in another person is something that we do or are ourselves, perhaps in a slightly different form. If whenever you feel like criticizing someone if you have the good sense and intelligence to stop and look for the same thing in yourself you will realise that in life your relations with others are like a mirror so that you can see more easily and clearly the weaknesses you carry within you. To experience this helps you to change yourself and also bring a sunny tolerance and goodwill to your relationships with others and also avoid all useless mental quarrelling.
12, p. 102-06 This is the famous talk “The Problem of Woman” about relations between men and women giving the reason for the perpetual “quarrel between the sexes”. She tells the reasons each sex is enslaved to the other and the key to liberation. There is a brief discussion about the attitude towards women in India. (also under: 3.5)
16, p. 045-54 There are several short letters on these pages which illustrate how one can learn and progress through relations with others.
16, p. 119-20 About choosing relationships when you are on the path, Mother tells not to retire from all relationships but “to choose your relationships well…to enter into relation only with those whose contact does not veil my presence. This is the important thing which should never be forgotten.”
16, p. 177 “It is not this person or that who attracts you… it is the eternal feminine in the lower nature which attracts the eternal masculine in the lower nature and creates an illusion in the mind; it is the great play ….of the forces of unillumined nature and as soon as one succeeds in escaping from its blind and violent whirlwind, one finds very quickly that all desires and attractions vanish; only the ardent aspiration for the Divine remains.”
16, p. 278 “What is the true significance of marriage? It has hardly any true significance—it is a social custom for the perpetuation of the species.”
16, p. 280 “All the relationships are good in principle and each one expresses a mode of the Eternal. But each can become perverted and bad due to the selfish falsehood of human nature which prevents the vibrations of love from manifesting in their purity.” This was in reply to the question about what is the best relationship—mother and son, brother or friend or lover etc.
16, p. 282 Mother answers why the 11 year old boys don’t want to work with or stand by the girls. “It is atavistic and comes from the subconscient. The instinct is based both on masculine pride, the foolish idea of superiority, and on the still more foolish fear due to the idea that woman is a dangerous being who entices you into sin. In children this is still subconscious, but it influences their actions.”
2.5.1.e -- love (13)
05, p. 237-40 About true Love, and human love for other humans (and even for the Divine) with its bargaining and other deformations which lead to jealousy, envy and hatred. “True love is a supreme force which the Eternal Consciousness sent down from itself into an obscure and darkened world that it might bring back that world and its beings to the Divine. …it whispered…there is something worth waking to, worth living for, and it is love!” With true love one loves purely for the sake of loving and requires no reciprocity. (also under: 1.3.4.c)
06, p. 101-07 This is about love human (like muddy water) and love divine (like crystalline pure water). “If one wants to know what love is, one must love the Divine”. “The quality of the love is in proportion to the transformation of your consciousness…if you have the consciousness of an animal you will love like an animal, of an ordinary man like and ordinary man, of. an elite being like an elite being, of a god then you will love like a god. If by aspiration and growth and effort for progress your consciousness becomes vaster then the love you experience will be vaster and vaster. Some illusions about maternal love are dispelled. (also under: 1.3.4.c, 2.4, 2.5.4.b)
08, p. 222-27 Describing the consciousness of Krishna and Radha Mother comments on a passage of Sri Aurobindo from The Synthesis of Yoga: “For there is concealed behind individual love…a mystery which the mind cannot seize…can only be seized and seize us through an occult love and yearning which in the end makes one the Form and Formless, and identifies Spirit and Matter…It is that which the spirit in love is seeking here in the darkness of the Ignorance and it is that which it finds when individual human love is changed into the love of the Immanent Divine incarnate in the material universe.”
08, p. 301-03 A good discussion about loving others. The best way when love comes in whatever form it may be is to cease loving wrongly and want to love well. Mother tells what this means and how to do it.
11, p. 023 Mother distinguishes true aspiration, which is self-giving, from pulling, which is always an egoistic movement and is the deformation of aspiration. On p. 22 she talks more about “pulling” and the results of it. (also under: 4.3.2.f)
12, p. 070 Mother describes here the attitude towards others that will come when one reserves love in all its splendour for one’s personal relationship with the Divine. Replacing human love will be a constant, egoless kindness and goodwill that does not expect reward, recognition, or gratitude. (also under: 2.5.4.b)
12, p. 455-72 This is the play Mother wrote called “Towards the Future” which deals with the subject of love and marriage.
14, p. 122-39 Divine love and human love. This chapter is about love, the nature of both divine love and human love, the love of humans for each other and also of human love for the Divine. On p. 128 Mother tells the 4 stages of capacity to love {Rungs of Love}. Pages 131-35 throw light on the subject of love and sexual desire. (also under: 2.4, 2.5.4.b)
15, p. 343-46 Mother answers the question “Is an emotion always a vital movement?” A good discussion which distinguishes psychic love from vital love. (also under: 2.4)
16, p. 037 Mother appreciates the attitude and effort, the sincerity of aspiration, shown in the following prayer received from a sadhak: “Make our relationship one through which I may benefit and come to know you.”
16, p. 117 “True love is the love that wants, to the exclusion of all else, the highest good for the loved one.”
16, p. 299 About love. “True love is in the soul (all the rest is vital attraction or mental and physical attachment, nothing else)” Mother advises the best attitude to those in a situation of mutual attachment so as to help each other.
16, p. 409a Mother talks about Divine Love and human love and tells that what humans call love is “not even the shadow of love nor even its deformation” but “mental and vital, sentimental or sexual activities, and nothing more.”
2.5.1.f -- friendship (2)
02, p. 069-70 How does eternal friendship come about, what is it? Mother answers.
09, p. 054-57 “Our best friend is he who loves us in our best part, and yet does not ask us to be different from what we are.” Mother comments on this quotation of hers and advises how best to choose one’s friends. Often one chooses friends who are in league with our lower desires rather than those who help us go higher.
2.5.2 -- the individual and society (15)
02, p. 066 “What is the most useful idea to spread and what is the best example to set?” Individual perfection will have its impact on the environment.
02, p. 075 To combat victoriously the effects of the polluted mental atmosphere around us “we must bring down into ourselves the highest thoughts within our reach...”
02, p. 087-90 A description of the polluted mental atmosphere in which we live— an atmosphere which, especially in cities, expresses mostly craving—for enjoyment, success, fame, power and influence, more money. Mother tells the two victories to be won, one positive, which is to battle the selfish, base and vulgar ideas, and one negative which means to build up in ourselves a mentality whose quality is the opposite of the surrounding medium. Such a synthesis of pure and powerful thoughts has great effects for not only ourselves but for others. (also under: 4.5.c)
03, p. 081-84 “If you want to be sure of your religion, you must choose it; if you want to be sure of your country, you must choose it; if you want to be sure of your family, even that you must choose.” – “Each one of us has been born in many different countries, belonged to many different nations, followed many different religions. Why must we accept the last one as the best?” “All your relations must be newly built upon an inner freedom of choice.” This is necessary for the new birth in the Divine. (also under: 2.5.4.b)
08, p. 147-50 Mother briefly describes the difference between yoga and religion and how someone with a spiritual destiny will arrive no matter what way he follows. Most people, though, follow religion by social habit. Pages 149-50 relate the story of Mother’s experience with the shipboard clergyman who was on his way to convert the heathens in Japan.
09, p. 172-74 Using the history of the Ashram for illustration, Mother talks about the spiral movements of progress both collectively and individually and how the individual and collectivity are interdependent on each other for a world progress. She explains how it is that many people in the Ashram were at that time experiencing a lowering of the consciousness in their activities.
09, p. 369-70 Mother discusses (with examples) the effect and value of collective prayer and tells how at all times in the earth history there have been groups organized in this way. The collective unit almost always has a lower consciousness than the individuals comprising it. “If the collective unit could attain the same cohesion as the individual unit, it would multiply the strength and action of the individual.” (also under: 7.1)
12, p. 039-44a Collective progress and individual progress are interdependent. Sri Aurobindo’s way to ensure that the two kinds of progress could go on side by side was to found an international university centre. Mother describes the principles and aims.
12, p. 255, 314 Mother briefly tells how important it is for children to learn the true nature and qualities about their own country and other nations. She uses France as an example. On page 314 she tells how one can begin to discover and manifest the soul of India.
13, p. 154 Mother tells here the financial principle on which action should be based: “money is not meant to make money. This idea…is a falsehood and a perversion.” She then tells what money is meant to do.
13, p. 170-71 A very brief discussion on what is necessary for community life.
14, p. 306-08 Mother throws light on the subject of duty towards the Divine and duty towards others (family and society). (also under: 2.5.4.b)
15, p. 031-32 Mother tells the attitude to be taken towards religions: A benevolent goodwill towards all worshippers. An enlightened indifference towards all religions. She says, too, that “All religions are partial approximations of the one sole Truth that is above them.”
15, p. 046 Three short statements about morality. One is: “You have no right to dispense with morality unless you submit yourself to a law that is higher and much more rigorous than any moral law.” And: “Moral laws have only a very relative value from the point of view of Truth. Besides, they vary considerably according to country, climate and period.” And:”You can break the moral rules only when you observe the Divine Law.” (also under: 2.3.d)
16, p. 407a Mother briefly answers the question about whether or not to give money to beggars. “In a well-organised society, there should not be any beggars. But as long as there are, do as you feel. There are good reasons both for doing it and for not doing it.”
2.5.3 -- work and play (4)
13, p. 166 Mother talks briefly about the difference between having the capacity to do a particular work and having the knowledge to do it. The best way to have the knowledge is to learn from those who know by seeing them do it.
14, p. 319-48 These many passages tell the importance in the integral yoga of work as an offering for the Divine and as a means for progress and perfection, the correct attitudes to take towards one’s work, towards creating greater collaboration and harmony in the work, towards difficulties in work. (also under: 4.4.1)
16, p. 113a “Always do with pleasure the work you have to do. Work done with joy is work done well.”
16, p. 353 “It is for you to know what work it is that most interests you, the one that opens for you a path towards perfection. It may be something apparently very modest; it is not the apparent importance of a work which gives it its real value for the yoga.”
2.5.4.a -- relationships with the Divine: who is He, She, That? (9)
03, p. 017-18 In a vision the experience can be the same all over the world but the form given to it varies from culture to culture, e.g. The Divine Mother, the Virgin Mary
03, p. 170-71 “All that happens [in this world] is not, in fact, divine: the Supreme Will is distorted in the manifestation owing to the combination of lower forces which translate it”...“We must be vigilant to co-operate with the Divine and not placidly think that whatever happens is always the best. All depends on the personal attitude. If, in the presence of circumstances that are on the point of occurring, you take the highest possible attitude...you can be absolutely certain that in such a case what happens is the best that can happen to you. But when you fall in a lower state it cannot be the best.”As Sri Aurobindo once said, “What happened had to happen, but it could have been much better.” We must open our lower nature to the highest Will. “For, life is a battlefield in which the Divine succeeds in detail only when the lower nature is receptive to its impulsions instead of siding with the hostile forces....What you have to do is to give yourself up to the Grace of the Divine; for, it is under the form of Grace, of Love, that it has consented to uplift the universe after the first involution was established. With the Divine Love is the supreme power of Transformation.” (also under: 2.3.d)
05, p. 165 Everyone constantly has preconceptions about the Divine and if the Divine does not behave according to one's own mental conceptions they think it is not the Divine. Unconsciously the surrender is conditional. Most people are not sincere enough to admit this.
05, p. 388-89 How the incarnation of the Divine Mother creates a kind of alchemy of transformation that makes one (and the world) progress.
09, p. 376-77 Mother speaks about the categories of the gods in India all on different planes, some close to man, others close to the Supreme. She gives Sri Aurobindo’s prayer to the Vedic gods which after listing them with their qualities ends with “Let me not be subject to these gods, O Kali.” (also under: 3.2.1)
10, p. 101-05, 113 Here are some aphorisms about God which can “widen the outlook of certain moralists who attribute definite qualities to God and will not permit him to be otherwise”. Mother also tells some of the innumerable ways of approaching the divine. Page 113 tells that “Sin and virtue are a game of resistance we play with God in His efforts to draw us towards perfection”. Understanding these aphorisms prepares one for a less limited approach, a truer relation with the divine
11, p. 062-64 Mother answers the question “What is the Divine?’’
15, p. 297b “The Divine is everywhere and in all, He is all. Yes, in His essence and His supreme reality. But in the world of progressive material manifestation, one must identify not with the Divine as He is, but with the Divine as He will be.”
16. p. 171 “The Divine is infinite and innumerable, and consequently the ways of approaching Him are also infinite and innumerable, and on the manner of one’s approach to the Divine depends what he receives and knows of the Divine.” Examples are given: e.g. “The bhakta meets a Divine full of affection and sweetness….”
2.5.4.b -- the individual and the Divine (32)
03, p. 069 “Love is one of the great universal forces; it exists by itself and its movement is free and independent of the objects through which it manifests.” It manifests wherever there is receptivity. “Love is a Divine force; for the distortions we see in its apparent workings belong to its instruments.” (also under: 2.4)
03, p. 070-71 “Love, the eternal force, has no clinging, no desire, no hunger for possession, no self-regarding attachment; it is, in its pure movement, the seeking for union of the self with the Divine.... Love divine gives itself and asks for nothing.” Human beings have made it into a repulsive thing. “The wider and clearer the opening in them, the more they manifest love divine in its original purity...” (also under: 2.4)
03, p. 071-72 “The manifestation of the love of the Divine in the world was the great holocaust, the supreme self-giving...This was the supreme love, to accept the loss of the perfect condition of the supreme divinity,...to unite with unconsciousness, to dwell in the world with ignorance and darkness.” This force is trying “to find consciousnesses” to receive it and express it. Behind all longing of human beings is the impulse given by Divine love. It is always trying and failing, but this constant touch prepares the instruments.
03, p. 074-75 “The creation moves upward through love towards the Divine and in answer there leans downward to meet the creation the Divine Love and Grace.” (also under: 2.4)
03, p. 081-84 “If you want to be sure of your religion, you must choose it; if you want to be sure of your country, you must choose it; if you want to be sure of your family, even that you must choose.” – “Each one of us has been born in many different countries, belonged to many different nations, followed many different religions. Why must we accept the last one as the best?” “All your relations must be newly built upon an inner freedom of choice.” This is necessary for the new birth in the Divine. (also under: 2.5.2)
05, p. 161-63 A description of the attitudes with which people generally give money to the Divine. This is mostly about how the power of money is at present in the clutch of the hostile forces and beings of the vital world.
05, p. 237-39, 241 Love to the Divine for most people is conditional. Page. 241 tells that the love of rather unintellectual men for the divine is similar to the love that animals have for men. It is made up of admiration, trust and a sense of security. The other pages are a discussion about true love and human love. (also under: 2.4)
05, p. 322 “The relationship with the Divine depends on what one wants it to be. Everyone aspires for a particular form of relation, and for him the relation takes that form.”
06, p. 101-07 This is about love human (like muddy water) and love divine (like crystalline pure water). “If one wants to know what love is, one must love the Divine”. “The quality of the love is in proportion to the transformation of your consciousness…if you have the consciousness of an animal you will love like an animal, of an ordinary man like and ordinary man, of. an elite being like an elite being, of a god then you will love like a god. If by aspiration and growth and effort for progress your consciousness becomes vaster then the love you experience will be vaster and vaster. Some illusions about maternal love are dispelled. (also under: 2.4, 2.5.1.e)
07, p. 106-07 This is a short discussion of how to approach the Divine Mother when one has a problem or needs an answer. A method is given of what to do if one has preferences about the answer and a suggestion is made to write down the situation. This has the effect of calming and purifying any vital upsurge or whirlwind and is very helpful for dealing with upsurges of anger.
08, p. 045-50 “What you expect from the Divine is what you find in the Divine; what you want in the Divine is what you meet in the Divine. He will have for you the aspect you expect or desire.” One limits one’s contact by one’s approach. The capacity for contact—the degree to which it is partial or total—is perhaps what constitutes the true hierarchy of beings.
08, p. 121-25 The Mother comments on Sri Aurobindo’s passage from Synthesis of Yoga p. 120 that describes possible relationships one can have, for the Divinity can be all these things: “a Bringer of Light, a Guide and All-Knower, a Master of Force, a giver of Bliss, Friend, Helper, Father, Mother, Playmate in the world-game, an absolute Master of his being, his soul’s Beloved and Lover.” Mother says this is only a brief description! Then she tells how people usually go about establishing a relationship with the Divine and tells some better ways. An experiment is given for one to try. (This is probably the best listing of all for this topic)
08, p. 231-32 A discussion about being an enemy of the Divine. “Usually one is an enemy of one’s own idea of the Divine, and that is why it is said that one who denies the Divine is very often the greatest devotee….” A declared atheist is one who has been prodigiously interested in the problem.
08, p. 235-36 Mother comments on a passage of Sri Aurobindo in which he describes the three parts that make up a complete act of divine love and worship. Mother says that if all three things are there—something material, something mental that makes it a symbol of something within, and the psychic aspiration—that produces beings of exceptional sincerity and consecration. Rarely are the three parts consciously combined.
08, p. 254-56, 256-58 Here Mother tells how to approach the divine Grace when one wants to help someone. After making one’s mental formation one offers it to the Grace, puts ones trust in it, asks it to intervene and has the faith that it will intervene, then one has a chance of success. When one is asking for oneself, has a special reason for invoking the Grace, it is best to formulate it precisely. And if you simply put yourself in the hands of the Grace, it is the Grace that will choose what it will do, not you. She gives examples of good things to ask for and how to react if the Grace doesn’t give what you ask for. More about the action of the Grace and how one will feel when one recognizes it is on pp. 256-58. (also under: 5.5)
08, p. 280-81 “Each individual has a direct and unique relation with the Supreme, the Origin, That which is beyond all creation. It is this unique mode of being [the truth of one’s being] which must be expressed in one’s life through a unique mode of being in relation with the Divine.” Mother elaborates on what this means.
09, p. 057 Mother describes friendship with the Divine who can truly be the best friend one can have.
10, p. 047, 48 Mother comments on aphorisms about forgiveness. When you ask the divine for forgiveness you are hoping that the dire consequences of your action will be wiped away. Mother says that regret alone will not do it—you must make a progress—i.e. the bad will be replaced by good will or the causing ignorance must disappear.
10, p. 221-23 Mother comments on the “relation with the Consciousness, the All; this relation of the human being with the All; of…the consciousness of the earth with the All; of the consciousness of the manifested universe with the All; …and this inexpressible phenomenon that each point of consciousness—a point that does not occupy any space—is capable of all experiences.”
11, p. 108-10 Mother answers the question: “Can the Divine withdraw from us?” She goes on to explain how if the Divine is all-delight why we do not feel the delight of the Divine but evil and good.
12, p. 070 Mother describes here the attitude towards others that will come when one reserves love in all its splendour for one’s personal relationship with the Divine. Replacing human love will be a constant, egoless kindness and goodwill that does not expect reward, recognition, or gratitude. (also under: 2.5.1.e)
13, p. 075-78 Mother, elaborating on the meaning of “I am with you”, speaks of her relation between herself and all who have turned to the teaching of Sri Aurobindo and herself. The Divine gives what you expect of him. If you believe him to be far away He will be so. He will be the atheist for the atheist or love for the lover. He is what you expect of Him in your deepest aspiration. Examples are given.
13, p. 096-98 Mother explains what she does when giving guidance asked for by the sadhaks. She tells about her vision and her way of working (and how it differs from ours), how she looks at the total of vibrations to see how the total is effected by what she grants or doesn’t grant.
14, p. 009-16 One example from many short passages and messages in this chapter: “Never forget that you are not alone. The Divine is with you helping and guiding you. He is the companion who never fails, the friend whose love comforts and strengthens. The more you feel lonely, the more you are ready to perceive His luminous Presence”
14, p. 019-22 Many short passages on this subject. One sample is on types of relationships: “The Lord and his Shakti, God and his devotee, The father and his child, The master and his disciple, The Beloved and Lover, The Friend and co-worker, The child and his mother.”
14, p. 122-39 Divine love and human love. This chapter is about love, the nature of both divine love and human love, the love of humans for each other and also of human love for the Divine. On p. 128 Mother tells the 4 stages of capacity to love {Rungs of Love}. Pages 131-35 throw light on the subject of love and sexual desire. (also under: 2.4, 2.5.1.e)
14, p. 306-08 Mother throws light on the subject of duty towards the Divine and duty towards others (family and society). (also under: 2.5.2)
15, p. 417-18 “Each one has his way of approaching the Supreme.” (through Love, through Power, through Consciousness, Truth). These pages are titled: “To Choose the Truth”.
16, p. 078-79 What is a consciousness turned towards the supramental (Divine) light? “It means the consciousness that is not filled with the activities and influences of the ordinary life, but is concentrated in an aspiration towards the divine light, force, knowledge, joy” (also under: 1.3.3, 4.3.2.g)
16, p. 227 “First of all, one should know that the intellect, the mind, can understand nothing of the Divine [neither what nor how nor why]. To know something of the Divine one has to rise above thought and enter into the psychic consciousness, the consciousness of the soul, or into the spiritual consciousness.” More guidance on ways to make conscious contact with one’s psychic being. (also under: 4.7.1)
16, p. 298-99 Even the love of the bhakta for his God is a diminution [of the one true Divine Love] and often is tainted by egoism. But as one tends to become like what one loves the bhakta…begins to become like the Divine whom he adores, and thus his love becomes purer and purer.”
17, p. 033 Guidance to a sadhak: “You should concern yourself more with strengthening your consecration to the Divine than with working out the details of your relationships with people.”
2.5.5 -- relationships with oneself (2)
16, p. 064 Mother tells the correct attitude to take towards one’s own nature—not only to see faults and weaknesses clearly but to be aware of the good and true as well so that this side can grow and ultimately absorb the rest and transform the nature. (also under: 4.3.2.c)
16, p. 424c “Feeling alone in the midst of human beings is the sign that you are beginning to feel the need to find in your own being contact with the Divine Presence.”
2.5.6 -- relationships with Time, Gods, etc. (3)
07, p. 385-87 In answer to the question How is Time a friend? Mother explains that: “Everything depends on the relation you have with it. If you take it as a friend, it becomes a friend. If you consider it as an enemy, it becomes an enemy.” By being patient and telling yourself in the face of a failure that surely one day you will succeed, you make time a friend. Mother then tells how “all forces are personal; all things in Nature are personal. But if we consider them as impersonal things, our relation with them is impersonal.” She gives lots of examples of her own experiences of relationships with entities of nature who bring rain and snow. (also under: 1.2.2)
11, p. 036-40 Mother speaks of the subjectivity of the vital world and how most of what one encounters depends on the state of one’s own vital, its fears and expectations. “There are worlds, there are beings, there are powers…their relationship with the human consciousness depends upon this human consciousness for the form they take.” This is also true of man’s relation with the gods. Mother elaborates and puts it in an evolutionary perspective. The conclusion is that the only true objectivity is the Supreme.
16, p. 235-36 Mother gives a brief description of the Overmind and the work of the “beings of divine origin who live there and who have been charged with supervising, directing and organising the evolution of the universe.” On p. 236 she briefly talks about mastering the various domains including mastery of the overmind. (also under: 3.2.5)

 


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