© Sri Aurobindo Ashram Trust

Divine Mother! Tomorrow is the day of the attack. It comes at about seven o'clock--a revolt of the vital.

I don't understand what you mean. Why acknowledge and accept a bad habit?

21 April 1934

I wrote this because the attack came last Sunday and the Sunday before, so I thought that it might come this Sunday too.

It is better to reject these thoughts, because they help to bring the attack.

21 April 1934


Two days ago I went to Y's place to pick some flowers in the morning. When I saw her I felt a trembling and immediately afterwards some uneasiness. I think it is the [new p. 36]vital that caught the uneasiness, but I don't understand why I felt this uneasiness when I saw her.

Some people carry around them these ideas of despair and depression and are harassed by them. These ideas are contagious, like an illness, and one catches them just as one catches any other illness.

14 May 1934

How can I avoid being attacked by these wild and hostile ideas?

You must learn to reject them when they come.

Not to come into contact with the people who carry them?

That is impossible--there would be too many people to avoid.

But the point is to know who is carrying them? [old p. 37]

That is impossible by any outer method; it is only by acquiring an inner discrimination that these things can be known.

15 May 1934


I don't know what to do, for my being has been under attack since last night. At the moment I feel restless, depressed, in darkness and ignorance. Above all, consciousness is absent.

The less importance one attaches to these dark periods, the sooner they are over.

5 September 1934

Where is my consciousness at the moment! What is the nature of this depression and why is it lasting so long? Before, Mother, Your force would come and drive it away. Where is that force now? Alas! I have lost it.

Be calm and quiet; it is only a crisis which will pass with the increase of consciousness.

10 September 1934

Collected Works of The Mother, First Edition, Volume 17, pp. 33, 36, 59