WRITINGS BY THE MOTHER
© Sri Aurobindo Ashram Trust

3 April 1962

After several weeks of grave illness which threatened the Mother's life.

Just between 11:00 and 12:00 last night, I had an experience by which I discovered that there is a group of people--purposely their identity was not revealed to me--who want to create a kind of religion based on the revelation of Sri Aurobindo. But they have taken only the side of power and force, a certain kind of knowledge and all that could be utilised by Asuric forces. There is a big Asuric being that has succeeded in taking the appearance of Sri Aurobindo. There is only an appearance. This appearance of Sri Aurobindo has declared to me that the work I am doing is not his. It has declared that I have been a traitor to him and to his work and has refused to have anything to do with me.

There is in that group a man whom I must have seen once or twice, who is not with them in spirit, but only in appearance. But he is without knowledge, he does not know what kind of being is there. And he always hopes to make this being accept me, believing it is truly Sri Aurobindo. This being I saw last night. I won't tell all the details of the vision--it is not necessary. But I must say that I was fully conscious, aware of everything, knowing that an Asuric force was there--but not rejecting it because of the infinity of Sri Aurobindo. I knew that everything is part of him and I do not want to reject anything. I met this being last night three times, even apologised for sins that I have not committed and in full love and surrender. I woke at 12:00, remembering everything. Between 12:15 and 2:00 I was with the true Sri Aurobindo in the fullest and sweetest relation--there also in perfect consciousness, awareness, calm and equanimity. At 2:00 I woke and noted just before that Sri Aurobindo himself [new p. 389]had shown me that still he was [old p. 409]not completely master of the physical realm. I woke up at 2:00 and noticed that the heart had been affected by the attack of this group that wants to take my life away from this body, because they know that so long as I am in a body upon earth their purpose cannot succeed. Their first attack was many years ago in vision and action. I had it in the night and spoke of it to nobody. I noted down the date, and if I can come out of this crisis, I will find it and give it out. They would have liked me dead years ago. It is they who are responsible for these attacks on my life. Up till now I am alive because the Lord wanted me to be alive, otherwise I would have gone long ago.

I am no more in my body. I have left it for the Lord to take care of it, to decide if it is to have the Supramental or not. I know and I have said also that now is the last fight. If the purpose for which this body is alive is to be fulfilled, that is to say, the first steps taken towards the Supramental transformation, then it will continue today. This is the Lord's decision. I am not even asking what he has decided. If the body is incapable of bearing the fight, if it has to be dissolved, then humanity will pass through a critical time. What the Asuric Force that has succeeded in taking the appearance of Sri Aurobindo will create, is a new religion or thought, perhaps cruel and merciless, in the name of the Supramental Realisation. But everybody must know that it is not true, it is not Sri Aurobindo's teaching, not the truth of his teaching. The truth of Sri Aurobindo is a truth of love and light and mercy. He is good and great and compassionate and Divine. And it is He who will have the final victory.

Now, individually, if you want to help, you have only to pray. What the Lord wants will be done. Whatever He wills, He will do with this body, which is a poor thing.

Afterwards, when the transcript of this talk was read to the Mother, she commented:

The fight is within the body. This can't go on. They must [old p. 410]be [new p. 390]defeated or this body is defeated. All depends on what the Lord will decide.

It is the battlefield. How far it can resist, I don't know. After all, it depends on Him. He knows if the time has come or not, the time for the beginning of the Victory--then the body will survive; if not, in any case, my love and consciousness will be there.

Collected Works of The Mother, First Edition, Volume 15, pp. 408-410