WRITINGS BY THE MOTHER
© Sri Aurobindo Ashram Trust

The nature of experiences of transformation

22 February 1969

This talk begins with Mother's comments about her Darshan Message of February 21st.

"It is only immutable peace that can make possible eternity of existence."

I remember I wrote this after having had the experience that the immobility of the Inconscient, the beginning of creation, is, one cannot say a "projection", but a kind of inanimate or inconscient symbol of the Eternity, of the Immobility--it is not "immobility", words are worth nothing, it is between immobility and stability. I have written here "peace", but "peace" is a poor word, it is not that, it is infinitely more than peace, it is the "something" (even the word "eternal" gives a limited sense, all words are impossible), the "Something" which is the Origin of all things and the beginning of the evolution of the manifestation to rejoin the Origin (Mother draws a curve joining the one to the other).

I have the impression that it was at the Playground, and it was as though the inconscient immobility--the immobility of the Inconscient, the inert immobility of the Inconscient--were the starting-point of the evolution and it was like the translation of this... how to say it? (this is also another kind of immobility! but an immobility containing all movements) of this immobility of the Origin, this stability, and that the whole evolution is so that this may find back That, with the whole passage (same gesture of a great curve). It was a very clear vision. I remember having written this, and when I read it the experience came back. Well, we speak always of a "fall"--but it is not that! It is not at all that. If there is a fall, it is at the moment when the vital turned into a will for independence: it is not at the beginning, it occurs altogether on the way.... In the [old p. 162]ancient tradition, they [new p. 162]say it is the "Conscient" that became the Inconscient because it was "cut off from the Origin"--this gives me the impression of stories told to children.

It is curious, in the silence and in the vision, it is very clear and very luminous, understandable; but as soon as you want to tell it, it becomes foolish.

But then, in the creation even as it is now, it is true that the word "peace" is perhaps the nearest (although it is not that, it is quite small and restricted, it is not that). As soon as something goes wrong or out of order, it is that which comes as the remedy, within.

(Silence)

Oh! Words are worth nothing, I do not know what to do, I do not know if it is because I have not enough of them or because truly... all mental expression seems artificial. It gives the feeling of a lifeless film. It is curious. And all language belongs to that domain. When I want to relate this experience... with some people I enter into a relation very, very well, very easily, in silence, and I tell them infinitely more things than I would be able to with words; it is more supple, more exact, more profound.... Well! Words, phrases, things written leave me with the impression of a two-dimensional picture, the ordinary picture; and that, that contact which I have in a way with people when I do not talk, that adds the depth and something more true (it is not, it is far from being altogether true, but it is more true) and there is a depth.

(Silence)

That is why the experiences are difficult to recount. They are no longer separate experiences which come one after another; it is like a single and global movement (circular gesture) of transformation, and it has a great intensity. [new p. 163][old p. 163]

In the ordinary functioning of life, there is this feeling that "it goes well", which is translated in people as a feeling of good health, and then there is a lack of balance, lack of order; and this opposition now seems altogether artificial: it is only a continuous movement which changes over from one kind of vibration to another kind whose origin is much more (how to say it? it is not "deeper", it is not "higher", and "truer" gives only one side, it is not that), well, "superior" in some way--words are foolish, altogether foolish.

It is like this, it is all the time like this. And then one is drawn to one spot or to another; it is simply a play of our consciousness, but for the consciousness that sees the whole, it is a continuous movement, and a global one towards... yes, it is this, it is in order that this inert Inconscient becomes the absolute Conscient.... I do not know, I have a vague impression that it has been discovered (here, absolutely on the earth, upon the earth), it has been discovered that a certain intensity of movement (that is to say, what we call "rapidity") is translated by an impression of immobility. I have a vague impression that I have been told so. But this corresponds to something. What I have called "peace" in the message, what is felt as peace, is an acme of movement, but general--harmonious and general.

As soon as one speaks, it looks like a caricature.

(Long silence)

I shall end by falling silent!

I hope not!

(Mother laughs) But it is so poor, all this.

Later on we may speak in colours.

Ah! That would be pretty.... [new p. 164][old p. 164]

It goes to such an extent that when I am told something, when, for example, something which I have said is repeated to me, I no longer understand it... I try my best, but it is the whole intensity of the Consciousness that seeks to express itself, so when it is repeated, this intensity is not there any more and it has no sense any longer.

But precisely this message, when it was read out to me, brought back the experience; therefore I know how it was, and then the word "peace" contained so much!... Now it is no longer there.

What is the word that I used?

Peace, yes.

Immutable?

Yes: "It is only immutable peace..."

Yes, and then the experience was that this same immutable peace (which was neither "peace" nor "immutable"! but it was "something"), this very Thing was there within the inconscient inertia. And it was so concrete!... And the whole curve of creation was there so that this and That might be apparently one (but it is one--it is one). One might say (but it turns into phrases, these are words): to become conscious of one's identity. But it is a phrase.

(Long silence)

The experience is so intensely concrete that as soon as I begin to speak, it comes down. Up there (gesture upward), the consciousness is clear, and then...

Collected Works of The Mother, First Edition, Volume 11, pp. 161-164